Stickyfingers

yo my fingers are sticky and it's unpleasant.

A Little Brekkie

This morning, well it was actually about 1pm, I was dreaming about waking up with lice and bed-bugs all over me. I think I was influenced by Lee's dream because I began to call our landlord all angry-like. Anyways I woke up and my head itched but it was only because I haven't showered in a couple of days and I'm hot and sweaty.

Actually what I woke up to, and it was beautiful, was Lee telling me that we're all going to get breakfast - as a family - at Le Vieux - and then Matt came in and we talked about Dirk and Basil and their troubled and complex relationship.

Mattson is leaving soon. But don't worry Mattson, I'll always think of you as my roomie, even if you're a million miles away on a spaceship heading to Mars. Or into the sun. But not before I steal your music and a couple of your movies.

There's a hole

Had a dream last night our apartment sprung yet another leak, this time in the ceiling above Mattson's bed. It was thunderstorming and several friends were over at our place drinking beer in the kitchen when it started. We push the mattress against the wall and put a bucket down on the floor, but it's coming through hard. Everyone is hush as I make the call to Parzad Feyrow*, our landlord.

Ringing. Ringing. No answer. That bastard. I decide to leave a message. I'm gonna go for it. I'm gonna do it all nasty like. I'm not going to hold back any of this latent anger. I'm gonna make it manifest in the worst message conceivable:

"Hi. This is Lee from 9073 Pioneer.* We've got another leak. It's in a different spot now. It's in the front room.

"Parzad, I'm so FUCKING sick. So fucking sick of living in this SHIT HOLE. Now you better get your miserly FUCKING ASS the FUCK over here right now and -"

But for some reason everyone listening has started laughing. And laughing loud enough that I know it's being picked up by the phone and being recorded in the message. I stop my rant and chuckle a little too. I hit the seven on the phone to erase the message and start over, but it's doesn't work. The voice mail box lady never speaks and the message has gone through, incomplete and with laughter.

We all keep laughing and go back to drinking beer.


*Some names and places have been changed to protect those parties involved

Warning Signs

Dirk is back for the night quite against his will. He has been hollering at me to let him go outside since we let him in, despite Basil not being around. In an attempt to placate him, I took out the bowl of cat-nip that Matt Murphy kindly left around for us. The last time I had seen Dirk with some of the sauce, he had no idea how to handle it. Should he sniff at it and sneeze? Should he paw? Does it do anything if he fixes his eyes upon it? Well, this time Dirk was hitting the nip hard. And when he had gotten enough, he got mean. Real mean. And then he had more. He was licking it straight from the bowl and he didn't stop.
Good God how he didn't stop.

On Basil

Fuck Basil. Fuck 'im. I can't stand the bitch, I'll take him any day. Watch me. Hey, Basil, I don't see you on this roomie blog, you pansy.

RADIO SHOW

Ole Lee and I just subbed for Rock and Roll Radio on CKUT. Well, I'm not sure if it's actually subbing because Lee's been doing it for the past month or so and the original guy made sure to disown us on the facebook group for the show, but...you can check it out either from 1-2am EST on CKUT 90.3FM or via internet stream, or you can download the show (both found here - right click on 'save link as'). Plays include Alex Chilton, The Melvins, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, Dr. Feelgood, Sacramento, Catl, and more fly-ass shit, some Can-Con both good and bad. If Lee just happens to sounds condescending, we decided that, rather than having it happen spontaneously, it would happen somewhat by design. Oh yeah, and Dr. Feelgood playing mono and skipping was totally by design too.

Oh yeah, and if I were roommates with myself, this would be a great roomie blog. It looks like I'm alone again, naturally.

Dirk!

Dirk was hanging around the porch all day, but has just recently left.

Poker Night

Last night was our roomie poker night so we invited friends Adele and ZackAttack (ZachAttack?) over to join us in the place of Matta-tat-tata-tum-ta-tum-tatata-ta, who couldn't be with us this evening. The buy-in was one twonie and after several hours of tense, unforgettable, strenuous, death-defying, immortal, really very crazy poker hands, I, Kyle C. Valade the First, hath emerged in victory and won a total of 5 twonies. Now I'm not even sure that we need to monetize this blog. I've got all the income I need right here with my roomies.

Bitter Irony

I find it ironic to note that my so-called "roomies4lyfe" have abandoned me within hours of creating this blog. Now I'm in my room with the doors closed listening to drone with no kitties anywhere.

Thanks a lot.

Also, we should monetize this blog and watch the cash come rolling in.